My random thoughts today...

I made a good deed, I should be happy. Thank you to the spirit who flows freely to the air that makes people decided on doing good deeds for time to time... today I was inspired to do so, so I say Thank You.


April is turning a year older today... last night dichi and I talked silently on the phone... you know like one of those conversations that you need not to say anything to understand each other... there are moments before that my ate wanted me dead, but last night spoke a different thing... because of her grief, and because of my love for her... last night phone call was perhaps one of the most difficult one I have listened to.

I wrote another angry mail yesterday... I wish I can just stop being angry, I wish I can just stop...

Emma is in my thought now... and I feel like my heart is about to explode. Anna, please tell me what should I do...

I had a great dinner Friday night with Sir Nick and Princess Em... after we all parted at Em's place, I decided to still go to the mall for a little relaxation...

I saw my old HS friend from my former school in Alabang (I spent a year there before going to UST)... he and I chatted till 1am, it was one of those conversations that you didn't realized that you've spent almost an eternity catching up... hehehehe...

So ergo, I went home around 3am...since we both live nearby, I hitch a ride with him...so we ended up having a far even longer conversation...

He is actually my crush then, I even gave him a love letter... hahaha, I know it sounded so cheesy then, but hey, I was only 13... :D

Like some of my friends back in HS, he married early... but, also got separated early. He has a kid now, about 4 years old... and he's already preparing to be a seaman like his dad.

I had a wonderful time chatting up with him, and I realized that even after all these years... in the words of Ellen Pompeo's character Meredith in Grey's Anatomy... "He's my McDreamy!"

When we talked about what I did to him back in HS, and about the letter that I sent him... I almost choked and spilled my coffee to him... hehehehe... he said I was a good sport when he dumped me... hahahahahahaha...

When he dropped me off at my house, he asked me again for another round of coffee before he leaves...

I kissed him on the cheeks and thanked him for a wonderful night, I knew that our coffee date will never push through... it's just one of those dates, that's seemed to be written in the stars.

But I am grateful, that I was able to spend almost a day... (10pm to 5am...)with him... hehehehe....

So for my McDreamy, I wish you a safe trip, and I'll see you around...

Have you ever loved a boy...

and knew he didn't love you...

Have you ever felt like crying...

and think what good it did to you...



Have you ever wondered where he is at night?

Perhaps, probably with someone new...



One moment you're happy, next moment you're sad...


When you think about it, you'll be hurt... it's true...


Coz you see my friend, you ought to know...


I fell in love with you....


-x0x0-

(SK Day...)

I've been very busy lately doing nothing...

yep...for the first time, I refuse to do anything normal and abnormal combined.

My brains has been malfunctioning since I went back from Baguio 2 weeks ago, and during my dad's birthday over the weekend, I still refuse to do any guest entertaining and stayed with my 2 year old niece Maxene and her little brother Ron watching the endless repetition of High School Musical and Nemo...

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Aish... I think I am more affected with what happened to my satchi than satchi herself... :( I really need to see my shrink.... hahahahahaha....

Doc Pepper here I come...

This is perhaps one of the senseless blogs I have ever written...

Promise, tomorrow, I will make much more sense....

I was at home the entire day yesterday, because I ate too much seafood over dinner when Bea treated me in Dampa... when I went home after that, my stomach was so big...I look like a member of the Nutty Professor family...hehehehehe...

I watched TV like a possessed idiot yesterday, anything HBO shown, I was able to watch it...hehehehehe...

Then I deviated my channel to DW (The German Channel) and they were showing a Korean Art film... and of course, it has gotten my attention... I mean, why wouldn't it...it was a korean film being shown on a german channel...hehehehehe...

A Moment To Remember... is a story of a construction worker who marries into a rich family... although it seems rather typical story plot... it turns out to have more depth as the story progresses... The movie is a little difficult to watch if you don't understand Korean, it has no subtitle, you only have to rely on your imagination as to what they are talking about...but the good thing is that the actors were very good, so it's like you are watching a silent film, but you're not. :D

The story revolves around Chul-Soo(the construction worker dude) and Su-Jin (the heiress COO...child of owner)... they met on a local grocery store, where Chul-Soo was buying water, and Su-Jin was buying soda... it was rather a weird meeting, because Chul-Soo was a silent type of guy, and looks every inch like a gangster...

The next day, Su-Jin came to visit her father in one of the buildings his company is making, and saw Chul-Soo there... when she realized that it was the same person, she went to see him almost everyday till he finally lost the willpower to not speak to her...

Of course, they definitely fell in love, and the father opposed the idea of them being married, but he gave his blessing when Su-Jin fell ill and saw how Chul was taking very good care of her...

As a married couple, they rarely argue coz he was a nice man to let her always get what she wanted... but slowly...Sun-Jin shows signs of forgetfulness, including the scene where she left the stove open and almost cause fire to their house.

As they settle happily onto their married life, as Chul Soo decided to study architecture full time so that he can one day help with the construction business that his wife's family has, Su-Jin found out that she has Alzheimer's disease.

She kept it to herself first so that she couldn't comprehend that one day she will be forgetting about her husband, her life and her memories... but soon, her forgetfulness became too evident that she had to tell her husband about it... and her line was... "There's an eraser in my head, that takes out all my memories"...

Their world had changed overnight, but Chul-Soo was adamant that he will remain with his wife, and that both of them will fight this disease together. There were a lot of sad scenes in the movie, and one particular scene that breaks my heart was when she was talking about her old lover (a married man), and she was telling how they met, and how they fell in love, and Chul-Soo asked her who was the love of her life...and she said her ex's name... Chul-Soo tried to hide his tears by wearing his sunglasses...

The next day, he wrote every memory that they have on a post-it and splattered it across their house...so that every time his wife forgets, she will just need to look at the notes and she will remember it.

One day, the disease became too unbearable for Su-Jin and she decided to leave and stay in a hospital... Chul-Soo was heart broken, and for months he never left their house with a hope that she will just walk through the doors and find him...

But she never came...

Until a letter came from Pusan, where it says about Su-Jin's progress with the disease... he went there and put on his favorite cologne that his wife gave him and his sunglasses, so that she would never see the tears that were already falling.

I particularly love this scene, when he came to her room and she was out drawing... the sketch paper fell and he saw how she was trying to draw his face, at first it was a clear as a photograph till the last paper revealed that his face already became like a cartoon sketch... and that her memory are slowly slipping away from her...

I love this movie because it seems like a combination of A Walk to Remember and The Notebook... and it grows on you because, you feel like even if the world is full of chaos, and that sometimes love is never really enough, and that relationships do break down... you'd smile to yourself thinking, that even if it was just a movie, that the chances of it happening in real life is slim to none... you'd still wonder, that no matter how surreal the situation is, you would like to let yourself believe that it can happen... and forgiveness is also a strong key point in the story... even with her disease, she was able to make Chul-Soo forgive his mother who had abandoned him as a child, and that her father forgave her when she revealed that she almost eloped with a married man...

Then of course, there's the cheesy lines...like you feel it smack you right to your face...

"To forget easily is a gift" that is what her father said to her, when he found out about her sickness...

"Forgiving is giving your hate just a little room in your heart" when she was telling Chul-Soo to forget and forgive what his mother did to him

Although it is so rare that you get to have alzheimer's before you reach 30, it is still without a doubt...POSSIBLE... this movie reflects perhaps one of the most forgotten aspect in one's person's life...

That even though we live in a world where power, wealth, love, friendship and hate matters... we tend to forget that our memories are really what we can call our own, and with that we should always treasure them... for we will never know when, where, how and why... we will loose it...

When he came to her life, it was the right time. She was mending her broken heart, he was a breathe of fresh air for her...someone new, someone who does not know how much hurt she had experience...and for once, someone who was able to make her smile again.

The first time he came to our house, I looked at him from head to toe, this guy is surely different from the one's she had previously dated... and since then, I welcomed him with open arms...

For years, our families have grown into one, I've practically seen his little brother grow up to become a very good looking La Sallite hunk... and the same goes with them, all of their birthday parties were never missed, and it has been a habit for us to include a visit in their home during the holiday season...

So how to break habits? we've grown accustomed to certain things that even there is the need to break free, we are seem at lost and oblivious on how and where...

My heart breaks everytime I see her in pain, even if she is the stronger one... I feel that once she realized the changes in her life, she would just slip away...

Have you heard the song from Cranberries..."Linger"? This is perfect for her...

If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger




One day, she would bounce back from this terrible phase in her life, and as her sister, I would respect her decision to do it alone. This is but a chapter in her life that she needs to let go.

I know both of them never reads my blog, so here is what I have to say regarding this matter...



From the moment I saw my sister make a hundred meter dash to reach the phone, I knew she was so much in love with you... Everytime I see her, waking up at 5am just to cook pasta , bake cake and make mango crepes each time you visit our house, I always think she was insane... but that what loves do... making people go insane!

And everytime she cries because of you, I wanted to kill you for making my ate cry...

But everytime I see her laugh, I would silently thank you...

Is that a crime? Since the beginning, I refuse to believe that it was a one way street, that this kind of giving only comes from satchi...her fault is that she gave more than what she should have, that she loved more than herself...

She gave you a good life, the kind of life that you were never accustomed to...
and this is how you repay her kindness...

If my sister can't find it in her heart to be as cruel as you were to her, well, don't you ever put me in the same shoes as my sister...

I think you have forgotten whose family you are up against, and I guess a courtesy visit to your family should be more than appropriate to remind you of who we are.

You better hope and pray, that when the times comes for me to get back on what you did... that I would still have the compassion in my heart to not let go of the devil in me.

I was on "eating vacation" while I was in Baguio for an event.

Sir Nick said I should stop eating sweets (like ice cream, cake...etc...) but I told him, it's only for four days. :D

One thing I love about Baguio... first the weather, the food, the night market, the "no need to use aircon" hotel rooms, and of course... I get to see Jo-Lo...

Me and the gang at the night market...in Burnham Park :D



After our long journey looking for good finds in the night market, we headed out to Vizcos a local cafeteria that serves good and cheap cakes :D althought their ice cream took about 15 minutes to serve...hehehehe... it's a good thing it only cost 18pesos...

Here's what I ordered... krema de fruta...its basically a chiffon cake topped with cream and fruit cocktail....hehehehehe...taste good...(according to watson I have to say how it taste eh...im forced.... hehehehehe)

I saw this book at my friend Jayson's house last night... his girlfriend Kiki is apparently hooked on Japanese literature...

Started reading some of it while waiting for the YellowCab pizza dude to arrive...

So far, I have only read one book written by a Japanese author and that is "A Pale of View Hills" written by literary great Kazuo Ishiguro.. and for me... that is a good book...

Twinkle Twinle is certainly not the same as A Pale of View Hills, for one, it narrates about the story of Shoko and her husband Mutsuki Kishida who happens to be "gay"...while A Pale of View Hills depicts about the story of a woman who left Japan to live in England after her daughter committed suicide.

What is very interesting about this book is that, these two people inspite of having been forced to be married to each other because, apparently....ARRANGED MARRIAGE still do happen in modern day Japan; they share the same thought about "it didn't make sense to say that a particular job was the husband's or the wife's. Whoever was better at it would be the one to do it."... those kinds of things, that you usually expect if you are married...

For them, since this was not a regular marriage... they had less expectation from each other, thus having less disappointment in life.

So far, so good... I have yet to finish the book :D but I really really like it :)

I once read in a book that if people are willing to pay for something that you are passionate about... then... you are one lucky person!

My friend Tobey came to see me yesterday and he said that he wanted me to do something... for him... a favor for a good friend...

So I met him over late night dinner in Zong (a chinese restaurant in Westgate) and he told me about his project, and since he knew since HS that I was keen on writing short stories and theatrical scripts...

The last time I did wrote a script was when I still a member of PETA...

Tobey told me about his plan... his so called "vision" and he wants me to be a part of it... he said, that the last time he was at my house he read a few drafts of writings that I scatter all over my dirty room... (literally...dirty :D)and with it, he came to read and like the way that I write...

Me??? I've never really seen myself as a writer, seriously... I don't.

I've written perhaps over a hundred sypnosis, but I have never given it a thought of how the ending might be.

So, being the good friend for the only "gay-lord focker" that I've grown to love, I said YES to him...

Now, I have to dug deep into my thoughts...

and hopefully...

something WILL come out of my weird brain...